This week feels like it has gone on forever- literally, it was only half way through tuesday that I realized it wasn't friday. But finally, it's over- I can't stress (ha) how stressful and upsetting it's been. And the thing is, the things that have happened aren't even that big or important. They're just lots of little things, all piling up until I'm completely overwhelmed by the dumbest shit imaginable- a grade from last semester I told my parents i'd change, people looking at me weird (especially in the locker room- hmm, I wonder why? Get over yourselves, self-obssessed straight girls -not nearly all of you, i know!-), fundraising for a service trip to Nicaragua this break, insane chem lab report to write that i haven't started. I guess it's because most of the time I just live in the moment and experience life as it happens without preparing much for the future. Maybe cuz that's what growing up is about: not being able to just float free through life, actually doing the soul-killing, mindless work that ends up being important somehow for some reason down the line. I'm just pretty behind everybody else, I think, like I always have been. So I think ima try and start fitting myself in the machine more so I don't end up just tossed aside, like a useless lug or something (that's a machine part, right? not too technically-inclined here haha), but staying absolutely me.
Okay I set the title already cuz I originally just planned on writing about what's coming up. So lets talk about this weekend!!
I'm a part of an awesome internship that I'll fully explain some other time (it has to do with environmental education in the bay area), but anyway we're having our midyear retreat this long weekend on saturday and sunday! We'll be staying overnight in cabins on some pretty nature beach campus, and just having a really goofy fun time. I love these people so much- this year would have been unbearable without them, we've just all grown so close over the thursday evenings and monthly saturdays we've spent together. So the midyear retreat will be the perfect time to let myself go, and know that I'm around people whose company i love, and who (most of the time) love me in return, which is pretty unusual and lovely. It'll just be awesome. Until I get back and have to write a lab report/spanish autobiography/ap world notes+essay outline/global technology model (i got anesthesia- like wtf!?), which might be a bit miserable. But otherwise, the next two days will be fucking fantastic.
a few of us thursday interns doing the high school musical jump in front of the sunset (after me and megan fell down a hill piggybacking and so we're scratched and crying- the two on the right)
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