Hey, haven't had the time/interest to update in a couple weeks- everything and nothing has happened. I snuck out and stayed at my friends house while my parents were at the hospital for my mom's surgery overnight, and yesterday snuck back in the house after pretending to leave for school and stayed in my room reading and watching movies the whole day (I'm cutting gym while writing this but honestly who cares). Oh, and today I was supposed to have a kinda-maybe-coffe-date with my friend E, with whom i agreed to try going out with last week (but I don't think it's gonna work), and I waited for half an hour reading about the
Armenian genocide until I finally accepted that she stood me up. With our pretty long and twisted history, that's one of the last chances she has, if it happens again I'm through with her- other than L, she's the one person in the world who has hurt me the most (and that's above my family which is saying something). She's always telling me how much she loves me and how I'm the most important person in the world to her, but (and this is a total cliche I knnow i know) drugs are more important- her descent into being some tragic fucked up anti-heroine takes precedent over everything else. I broke my promise to her today and talked about her to our mutual friend T (even though E says that that friend group means nothing to her anymore and she doesn't trust any of them), who confirmed that she's not been showing up and smoking even more than usual, along with other stuff. I'm pretty sure that she didn't show up this morning because she was buying ecstasy from this shady guy- she's starting to owe him money though, me and T talked about how we hope she goes broke from buying so much that she can finally stop and pull her shit together to do drugs responsibly like everybody else. I'm sympathetic but getting pretty fucking tired of this stuff, and am not comfortable being her only source of support. I kinda love her though, but I'll put that aside if she keeps doing this. Fuck.
On the upside I'm supposed to be going to a community group for queer teen girls tomorrow!! Which i'm anticipating as being freaking awesome (the organization LYRIC also does queer teen dances and stuff, one of which I"m going to this friday). Okay I've got an actual class next, read me soon!
